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My brother said something, but I’d been distracted by a nice flower in someone’s back yard.

Wanted to pick it for my girlfriend.

Then I realized she might be sad I killed it.

Seemed like something she’d get sad about.

Maybe not.

I could just say, “Here, I killed this for you.”

As in, “Of course I would kill something for you.”

As in, “Everything is potentially your gift.

Sam Pink, Rontel (via sarahjeanalex)

(via spapce)

vividcryptid:

if luna fits luna sits. amazon boxes are apparently the comfiest since she spent about 6 hrs in there.
anacondom:

this is sucriya. she accessorizes her catholic school uniform with a different scarf every day, which every teacher writes her up for. when my principal walked up to her and pointed to her scarf and said “what’s this?” she said 
"sister, that’s fashion"
and just walked away
Guy in my class: Sir, what if we had a gay P.E. teacher? That'd be bad because he'd be looking at all the guys in shorts.
Teacher: You're assuming that all gay teachers are pedophiles.
Guy: Well...yeah.
Teacher: Carl I absolutely promise you that NO ONE in this school wants to have sex with you
hadejarley:

"hey what are you doing in your room"
"studying."
misanthropicmessiah:

Aitor Throup New Object Research
THEME: ROTFERKEL